Cancer: When You're a Caregiver
A caregiver is someone who gives basic
care to a person who has a medical condition, such as cancer,
that prevents him or her from independently doing activities
of daily living. The caregiver helps the person with tasks
such as preparing and eating food, taking medicine, bathing
and dressing.
As a caregiver, what can I do to make
caregiving easier on me?
Being a caregiver takes a lot out
of you -- physically and emotionally. It's important to your
health not to ignore your own needs while you care for someone
else. The following are some things you can do to make sure
you stay as healthy as possible during your loved one's
illness:
Make wellness a
priority. You may feel like you have to "do it all,"
regardless of the toll it takes on you. However, one of the
most important things you can do for your loved one is to take
care of yourself by doing the following:
- Visit your doctor for regular
check-ups.
- Eat a balanced diet. This may
be easier than you think because you may be sharing meals
with your loved one, who will also need to eat well.
- Get plenty of rest. If you're
short on sleep, take naps when your loved one does.
- Get some exercise. Thirty to
60 minutes of exercise 4 to 6 times a week can give you more
energy, reduce stress and lift your mood.
- Do relaxation exercises--such
as deep breathing or meditating--to reduce stress.
- Take a break from caregiving.
If you take some time for yourself, you'll be better able to
take care of your loved one.
Stay organized.
Caregiving is often a full-time job, but it may be done on
top of your other responsibilities, such as working or taking
care of children. Make a schedule with your family. This will
help all of you stay organized and will help you manage the
demands on your time. Don't forget to schedule time for things
you enjoy, such as seeing friends, playing cards or going to
the movies.
Create a support team.
Plan for times when you'll need help by making a list of
people who are willing to help. Family members, friends and
respite care workers can give you a break or help out when you
can't be there. On your list, include their phone numbers, the
times they are available and the tasks they feel most
comfortable doing. Keep a copy of the list with you at all
times in case you're away from home when you need to ask
someone for help.
Set boundaries.
Accept that there is a limit to what you can do as a
caregiver. Recognize when you feel overwhelmed, and ask for
help in caring for your loved one.
Is it normal to have so many different
feelings about being a caregiver?
Caring for a loved one who is seriously
ill is never easy. At times you may feel scared, angry, sad or
lonely. You may also feel guilty. All of these feelings are
normal, but you must learn to tell them apart from the signs
of depression and stress-overload. These signs are listed in
the box below. Call your doctor if you notice any of these
signs. He or she can help.
 |
|
 |
|
Signs of
Stress-Overload
-
Excessive
anger towards the person you care for, your family or
yourself
-
Social
withdrawal
-
Anxiety
-
Extreme
tiredness
-
Sleep
problems (sleeping too much or not enough)
-
Irritability
-
Health
problems (catching every "bug" that goes
around)
Signs of
Depression
-
No interest
or pleasure in things you enjoy
-
Feeling sad
or numb
-
Crying
easily or for no reason
-
Feeling
slowed down or feeling restless and irritable
-
Feeling
worthless or guilty
-
Change in
appetite; unintended change in weight
-
Trouble
recalling things, concentrating or making decisions
-
Headaches,
backaches or digestive problems
-
Sleep
problems (sleeping too much or not enough)
-
Thoughts
about death or suicide
|
|
 |
|
 |
How can I cope with my
emotions?
Talk to your loved one and your
family. You may feel like you shouldn't burden people with
your feelings because you're not the one who is sick. However,
talking about the illness and how you feel can help relieve
stress. If your loved one is unable to participate, be sure to
talk about how you are feeling with other family members or
friends who can provide support.
Educate yourself about cancer.
Find out all you can about the kind of cancer your loved one
has, the treatment he or she is going through, and its side
effects. Being informed is a good way to regain a sense of
control. Your loved one's doctor, support groups, the Internet
and libraries are good resources for more
information.
Join a support group. Support
groups give you the opportunity to share your feelings and
experiences with people who are going through similar
situations. Your doctor can suggest ways to find a support
group, or you can contact the American Cancer Society or the
National Cancer Institute (see information under "Other
Organizations").
Seek counseling. Sometimes it's
helpful to talk with a counselor about how you're feeling.
This is not sign of weakness. Recognizing that you need help
takes a lot of strength and courage. Talk to your doctor. He
or she can help you or refer you to a doctor or therapist who
specializes in counseling.
Other Organizations
American Cancer
Society
http://www.cancer.org
National Cancer Institute's
Support Information
http://www.nci.nih.gov/cancerinfo/support/
